The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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