idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize