I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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