That's when you crack a 10am beer
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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