just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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