Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
