I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
