I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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