Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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