took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
