Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
