Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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