i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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