what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
