As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's shark week go big or go home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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