I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have peed in a lot of sinks
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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