And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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