Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
