Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
