His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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