im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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