She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
