Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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