He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
