You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
