Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
