three words: i give head
three words: not that well
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?