Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.