I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2