Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.

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  (407): I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up. http://tfl.nu/laen
  Replies (13) Good night (3602) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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  (434): I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes. (1-434): Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/t985
  Replies (54) Good night (1691) Bad night (13771)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab

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  (304): I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab http://tfl.nu/wqq0
  Replies (24) Good night (5480) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (7085) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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  (760): all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing. http://tfl.nu/78qs
  Replies (6) Good night (2001) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.

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  (570): I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know. http://tfl.nu/puq8
  Replies (10) Good night (1903) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.

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  (412): I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call. http://tfl.nu/5iup
  Replies (17) Good night (2733) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tornado booty call.. dedication

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  (469): Tornado booty call.. dedication http://tfl.nu/xoaj
  Replies (6) Good night (1115) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (16) Good night (1637) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.

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  (408): I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment. http://tfl.nu/nl3d
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.

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  (209): DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now. http://tfl.nu/drmi
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?

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  (620): Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face? http://tfl.nu/ela9
  Replies (5) Good night (364) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  But there's never enough margarita money.

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it

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  (321): But there's never enough margarita money. (1-321): This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it http://tfl.nu/kuzp
  Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions

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  (248): This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions http://tfl.nu/bezn
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina

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  (347): you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina http://tfl.nu/m6vu
  Replies (5) Good night (557) Bad night (138)

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