Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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(317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp

Replies (16) Good night (2754) Bad night (571)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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(513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v

Replies (16) Good night (2365) Bad night (1183)
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(618): View more from Illinois

he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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(618): he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic. http://tfl.nu/zq41

Replies (7) Good night (2838) Bad night (680)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012

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(732): I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012 http://tfl.nu/8oo2

Replies (56) Good night (715) Bad night (3527)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Haha. Niice.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

(307): View more from Wyoming

both.

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(479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3

Replies (46) Good night (5983) Bad night (873)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.

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(571): I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub. http://tfl.nu/fw5s

Replies (21) Good night (1426) Bad night (4386)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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(732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i

Replies (23) Good night (5965) Bad night (1180)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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(860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9

Replies (22) Good night (5579) Bad night (943)
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(240): View more from Maryland

the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference

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(240): the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference http://tfl.nu/iojb

Replies (7) Good night (2434) Bad night (698)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.

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(780): I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe. http://tfl.nu/j3zt

Replies (13) Good night (877) Bad night (2180)
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(425): View more from Washington

You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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(425): You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/758u

Replies (7) Good night (1712) Bad night (437)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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(613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg

Replies (3) Good night (1014) Bad night (503)
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(240): View more from Maryland

The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!

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(240): The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different! http://tfl.nu/rsm4

Replies (5) Good night (1175) Bad night (430)
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(561): View more from Florida

I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.

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(561): I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left. http://tfl.nu/6w8g

Replies (4) Good night (966) Bad night (256)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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(317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (423)

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