I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
