Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
