New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize