Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
