this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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