please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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