i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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