dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
