I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize