Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
