What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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