this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
