Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
