Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just forgot I was standing up.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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