Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
