I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
