I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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