Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The air taste purple.
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