i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
