no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
