Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
