How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
