I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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