i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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