Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
