the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
