Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
