Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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