Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize