She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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